نقش تقلید در تربیت فرزند؛ از الگو بودن تا الگو ساختن
یکی از ابزارهای مهم تربیت فرزند، چیزی است که تقریباً در همه خانهها پیدا میشود: تقلید. در واقع، «تقلید در تربیت فرزند» یکی از بنیادیترین سازوکارهای یادگیری کودک است. کودک از همان لحظهای که چشم باز میکند، نگاهش به پدر و مادر است؛ کسانی که اولین و اثرگذارترین الگوهای زندگی او هستند. If this opportunity is used correctly, many correct and valuable behaviors can be institutionalized in the child through imitation.
Destruction of the same = destruction of the child (direct influence on imitation in raising children)
When parents humiliate each other in front of the child, speak ill of each other or show disrespectful behavior, they actually destroy the heroic image that the child has of the parents. What will be the result? The parent can no longer be an effective role model for the child, and the child loses one of the most important pillars of his personality development.
There is no model child; The child is always imitating
If the parents cannot be a healthy role model for the child, the child will quickly turn to role models outside the family: friends, classmates, virtual figures or even imaginary characters. This is where the probability of choosing the wrong patterns increases. Sometimes, in the absence of a reliable model, the child sets himself as a standard and goes towards self-esteem and isolation; A path that will be very difficult to correct later.
Keep your personality; A parent is a living example of raising a child
Being a role model is not supposed to turn parents into dry and emotionless statues. Parents can play, joke and build a warm relationship with their child; But besides that, with their actions and behavior, they should show the meaning of responsibility: studying, helping others, respecting their spouse, doing housework and sticking to valuable activities. It is a balanced combination that absorbs the baby naturally.
Watch your child's patterns; Imitation management in child rearing
Children don't just imitate their parents. Friends, teachers, popular figures and even virtual space are part of their model world. Parents should monitor these patterns without strictness and control. If there is a good example, strengthen it, and if there is an inappropriate example in the child's life, talk about it with delicacy and tact, rather than separating the child from it with labels and humiliation. Direct pressure usually backfires.
Show people; The condition of making correct patterns
If you don't find a suitable role model for your child, the virtual space will do it for him. Therefore, it is better for parents to introduce real and healthy role models according to the interest and age of the child: ethical sportsmen, committed artists, valuable writers or authentic cultural and religious figures. The child should be able to understand the difference between "reasonable person" and "unreasonable person" through your experience and observation.
When to stop imitation? Passing imitation in raising children
At the threshold of puberty, the time comes for the child to go beyond mere imitation and reach the stage of analysis and reasoning. It is natural for teenagers to criticize even their own models; Be it you or other people. Do not be afraid of this criticism. This is the opportunity that shows that the child is maturing intellectually. Help him to learn the path of conscious choice of values and behaviors.
Source: Collection of material taken from the book Child Education written by Professor Ali Safai Haeri.
