شاید به یاد بیاورید که در کودکی در مقابل انجام یک کار اشتباه یا شینطت، از بزرگها کتک خورده باشید! تنبیه بدنی یکی از روشهای تربیت و فرزندپروری سنتی است که بسیاری از والدین و بزرگسالان برای تربیت کودک خود آن را به کار میبردند.
متاسفانه همچنان والدین و افرادی وجود دارند که طرفدار تنبیه بدنی هستند و آن را کارساز میدانند! اما مساله مهم این است که اثرات تنبیه بدنی بر کودکان بسیار بیشتر و مخربتر از آن چیزی است که فکر میکنید.
در واقع اگر بخواهیم درباره تاثیر تنبیه بدنی بر کودک صحبت کنیم، باید بگوییم با هر بار انجام آن، حتما منتظر عواقب تنبیه هم بمانید.
در این مطلب از وبلاگ افق سلامت، قصد داریم درباره تاثیرات تنبیه بدنی بر کودکان صحبت کنیم. اگر دوست دارید درباره این موضوع بیشتر بدانید و شیوه فرزندپروری خود را تغییر دهید، در ادامه این مطلب با ما همراه باشید.
تنبیه چیست؟
شاید بهتر باشد پیش از آنکه درباره تاثیر تنبیه بدنی بر کودک صحبت کنیم، تعریف دقیق تنبیه را بدانیم.
به انجام یک محرک آزاردهنده برای کاهش یک رفتار نامطلوب یا از بین بردن آن، تنبیه میگویند. In simple words, when you see undesirable behavior from someone, sometimes to eliminate that behavior and reduce it, you engage in behaviors and actions that are annoying for the other person. This work is actually a way to prevent its repetition.
It should be said that punishment in its general sense is not a negative and destructive thing, and by the way, it is necessary and necessary in many cases in educational methods.
But punishment has various types and special forms, which of course does not include physical punishment.
Types of punishment in psychology
From the point of view of psychology, there are different types of punishment, and it is necessary to use each of these types in certain situations. You should also consider that each of these types should be applied according to a specific order to be effective and not cause the child emotional and psychological problems. Among the types of punishment, the following can be mentioned:
Indirect mention
The first type of punishment is indirect warning to the child. For example, when a child commits a wrong act for the first time, parents should indirectly and without words make him aware of his wrong act. Like turning away or turning away.
Taghafel
As the child continues to do something wrong, it is better for parents to ignore his mistake and pretend not to see it.
Advice
When parents see an unpleasant behavior or inappropriate activity from their child for the first time, it is better to turn to advice. Reminding the child of a mistake verbally and with gentleness and affection is effective in many cases.
Direct mention
If the child continues to misbehave, parents should turn to punishment through direct warning. Direct warning to the child should be in such a way that the parents are upset with his behavior. Parents should ask the child to stop misbehaving. Don't forget that you should not humiliate the child in any way and use direct warning along with blame and character destruction.
Short term anger
When the child insists on his wrong behavior and none of the previous methods work in leaving him, parents can punish the child through indirect violence.
This anger should not last more than two or three hours. During this time, parents should give the child the space to think about his behavior and performance.
Warning
Next, when the child's repeated misbehavior continues, parents should use warning punishment. In this punishment, parents should directly warn the child and inform him about being deprived of the things he likes.
Don't forget to give warning about the issues that the child is interested in and make sure that this warning is actionable. For example, tell him that he can't play with his favorite toy for a day or that he won't be able to watch his favorite cartoon.
Punishment actions
Finally, when none of the above methods to warn the child were useless, it is time to punish. This means that parents should act on their warnings. Remember to implement this step in an effective way so that it does not become normal and ineffective for the child.
The most important thing about child punishment is that physical punishment has no place in it. Even at the last stage, it is very wrong to use corporal punishment of the child.
Consequences of corporal punishment of children
The impact of corporal punishment on children is so destructive that if you are aware of them, you will never corporal punish your child. The most important side effects of corporal punishment of children can be found in the following cases:
Loss of self-confidence
The first effect of corporal punishment on children is the loss of self-confidence in them. After being punished physically, the child loses his sense of self-confidence for a long time and experiences a sense of insecurity and fear towards those around him.
Deprivation of individual independence
A child who is physically punished is deprived of his individual independence. In fact, he always thinks that he should be an obedient person and has no authority and independence from himself.
Emergence of anxiety and stress
Anxiety and stress is another effect of physical stress on children. The child experiences stress and anxiety to do anything and is constantly afraid of being physically punished.
Feeling of abandonment
Physical punishment, in addition to fear and worry, conveys an increasing feeling of loneliness to the child. The child constantly feels alone, helpless and abandoned, and the persistence of this state and its continuation will cause many problems for him as an adult.
Incidence of aggressive and violent behavior
Most children who experience physical punishment generally learn this behavior and violence from their parents and use it as a regular behavior and a solution to various problems. He applies this aggressive behavior towards everyone, especially his peers, and over time these behaviors are strengthened in him.
Lack of learning problem solving methods
Problem solving is a very important ability in a child that should be learned in the early years of his life and this ability and skill should be strengthened. By corporal punishment, this ability is not formed in the child or becomes very weak. As a result, the child learns to solve any problem with violence, aggressiveness and beating.
This same issue can turn a child into a delinquent person in adulthood, who constantly creates conflicts and moves issues without logic and by fighting.
causing physical harm
In many cases, corporal punishment leads to physical injuries, trauma, bleeding, fractures, and in more severe cases, death. Therefore, corporal punishment is one of the worst types of punishment, which in addition to causing mental damage to the child, affects his body and soul as well.
Lack of learning social skills
A child who faces punishment does not learn social skills and interpersonal relationships. For this reason, it is very imperfect in communicating with other people.
Is it possible to raise a child without corporal punishment?
You may be surprised, but many parents believe that it is not possible to raise a child without using physical punishment. If it is not like this. Children are like a soft dough that is formed in our hands in the first years of life, in the position of parents, elders, teachers, etc.
Therefore, the behavior that the child shows depends on our behavior in many cases. Many times, the child's behavior has very simple and even innocent reasons that can be corrected with a short warning.
Therefore, there is no need to physically punish the child and it can be corrected using the right methods.
To achieve this goal, it is only necessary to properly teach the child and the proper way of behavior and education.
What should we do if none of the correct punishment methods were effective?
There are many parents who ask what to do if none of the correct punishment methods are effective?
In answer to this question, it should be said that if you really used all the correct methods of punishment but did not really get the right answer, you should still not go to corporal punishment of the child.
In many cases, a child's abnormal behavior indicates a more fundamental problem, and many times it is simply not possible to diagnose it. In this situation, the presence of an expert in the field of children is felt. Therefore, if you use any method to raise your child and do not get the desired result, instead of resorting to physical punishment, seek the help of a child counselor.
Having a child specialist counselor helps you find the root of the child's behaviors and problems and diagnose possible psychological diseases in him.
For example, physically punishing a hyperactive child without knowing that the child has hyperactivity will aggravate his disorder.
The best parenting center
No parent wants to hurt or harm their child. But sometimes this happens for various reasons, the most important of which is ignorance and lack of information. Therefore, it is better to move in the field of nurturing and strengthening the mental health of yourself and your child and in this way learn the correct methods of parenting.
To achieve this goal, you can get help from reputable clinics and expert therapists. You can find the best psychology clinic and counseling in the field of raising children by searching the Internet or asking experienced people in this field.
Don't forget to go to therapists and centers where it is possible to check their records.
Last word
The impact of corporal punishment on children is beyond what many of us imagine. Corporal punishment in a child can cause severe emotional trauma to him and negatively affect his future.
Applying corporal punishment on a child may stop him from doing his wrong behavior at the moment, but it is not effective in any way and even turns into worse behaviors in him. As a parent, if you want to raise healthy children, you must be aware of the impact of physical punishment on children and replace it with the right methods.
