Sincere communication

Often they are not aware of their violent behavior and do not accept it. The first step to having intimate communication is awareness, acceptance, and the next step is willingness to change. Change does not happen by itself. Any change begins with our own desire and effort and is expressed in language, action or behavior.

Physical violence leads to physical injury. But passive violence is more imperceptible and leads to emotional damage and ultimately anger. Anger fuels physical violence.

The more the society moves towards materialism, the more individualism is intensified and the behaviors arising from selfishness become more difficult and compatibility and homogeneity become more difficult.

It is possible to allow inner intimacy to show more by restraining your anger. To replace selfishness, hatred, doubt, bigotry, greed and aggression with affection, attention, appreciation, love and respect for ourselves and others.

Sincere communication: ultimate communication without anger

Expressing and accepting love in communication is a part of human nature. The way to use language is the factor of staying in the love phase. Verbal communication skills and listening to one's own and others' needs increase the ability to be human even in difficult situations and make relationships more favorable. With this method, the sense of empathy, attention and respect awakened and the motivation of intimacy increases. Paying attention to the speech of the other party is a love that enriches the life of both parties. Because the self-confidence of the attentive person increases the pleasure of socializing in the recipient of attention.

Observation without judgment:

Understanding feelings and needs and paying for what makes life better. Language is not just putting words together. Language is a tool that informs us of a person's intentions. So that we can communicate with non-verbal behaviors such as gestures, facial expressions, and even silence.

What kind of communication hinders love and alienates us from life?

Judgment:

• humiliation
• Blame
• Tagging
• Criticism
• insult
• Troubleshooting
• Comparison of life is bitter to our palate and blocks the way of loving ourselves and others.
• Ignoring the way of thinking, feelings and behavior causes us not to use appropriate expressions and behavior for the situation.
• Considering everything that is inconsistent with our moral values or is unfamiliar and strange to us as bad or incorrect. Humans analyze and judge the behavior of others based on their needs and values. Judgment shows the speaker's point of view, values ​​and principles towards life and does not approve of the other party. Such an analysis and judgment makes the other party resist and take defensive measures. Sometimes, due to shame and fear, they may inevitably adapt to us, but their self-esteem and goodwill will decrease to the same extent.

If instead of projecting our needs, we can bring our feelings and needs together, the relationship will be better, and the other party will not have to spend energy on defense or counterattack.

To have sincere communication, it is necessary:

• Separate observation from evaluation so as not to face resistance and criticism from the other party. Observations are described by expressions. (Example: I think you did not behave fairly).
• Identifying and expressing feelings plays an important role in the ease of communication and helps to resolve disputes. Emotions are expressed in one word. (Example: I am sad).
Accepting your feelings and paying attention to the underlying needs of these feelings. The actions of others are not the cause of our feelings, but they are their triggers. Emotions are the result of a person's interpretation of events, needs and expectations. So the person himself is responsible for his feelings, not others.

When you have a negative feeling towards someone, see which expectations, your needs are not met from him. By associating feelings with expectations, the likelihood of expressing a positive and loving response increases. To connect feeling to expectations from the phrase: I feel ….. because ….. (Example: When you ignore me, I feel that you don't want to talk to me because I wanted to share something with you.) We often consider others responsible for not meeting our needs and demands, and we don't think about our own role in this relationship and expressing them openly and directly and finding an effective solution. Because the first case is easier to receive... (continued)

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