Courtship etiquette of the girl's family: the dos and don'ts of the courtship night

Proposal night is a night full of excitement, hope and maybe a little anxiety. This is the first official encounter between the two families; The moment when the foundations of deeper knowledge and maybe a lifetime of life together are laid. In the rich Iranian culture, this ceremony has a special place and the manner of holding and behavior of the host, that is, the girl's family, plays a key role in the formation of the initial image and the correct progress of this acquaintance. Observance of customs of the girl's family is more than a simple ceremony and shows the respect, originality and tact of the host family.

Many families have many questions on the eve of this important event: How to welcome? What to say and what not to say? How to serve? Answering these questions and understanding the subtleties of courtship etiquette of the girl's family can prevent misunderstandings and provide a calm and respectful atmosphere for a productive conversation. This article is your guide for perfect and informed hosting on this important night.

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The importance of the first meeting of the girl's family on the proposal night

Social psychology emphasizes that first impressions have a profound and lasting effect on our subsequent judgments. Proposal night is exactly the golden opportunity to make a positive first impression. The way the girl's family behaves on this night sends an unspoken message about values, family culture, respect for the guest and even their daughter's place in that family.

Observing the customs of the girl's family does not mean pretending or playing a role, but it means showing the best and most authentic image of the family in a sensitive and official situation. These etiquettes will help you to:

Create an atmosphere full of respect and calm: which is necessary for an honest and deep conversation.
Avoid possible misunderstandings: Inconsiderate behavior can be misinterpreted and create opacity.
Maintain the honor and dignity of your family and your daughter: Correct hosting shows the maturity and tact of the family.
Build the foundations of a healthy relationship with the groom's family: This is the first step in a long road of future interactions.

Therefore, knowing about the courtship customs of the girl's family is considered a smart investment for the future of this relationship.

pre-ceremony preparations for the bride's family

Successful hosting requires prior planning and preparation. Compliance with customs of the girl's family starts from this stage.

Internal coordination and mental preparation

Before the promised night arrives, family members (father, mother, daughter and other members present) must be in harmony with each other. Define your expectations from this meeting. The main purpose of the first meeting is to get to know each other, not to reach a definitive conclusion. All members should be mentally prepared for any outcome and keep calm. This coordination is a part of courtship customs of the girl's family.

House decoration and welcome space

Your home should be clean, tidy and ready to receive guests. There is no need for excessive luxuries or changing decorations; It is enough that the space is clean, calm and pleasant. The decoration of the environment shows respect for the guest and the importance of this meeting for you. This point is very much considered in the courtship customs of the girl's family.

Planning for catering

Reception should show your hospitality while being simple. Fruit, sweets and tea are the usual and appropriate choices. Avoid elaborate dishes or desserts on the first date, as the main goal is conversation and getting to know each other, not dinner. Exaggeration in the reception may cause the guests to suffer and be considered against customs of the girl's family.

Musts on the night of courtship: thoughtful role-playing of the girl's family

The night of courtship has arrived. Observing these key points will help you play the best role and is considered one of the most important proposals for a girl's family.

1. Warm and respectful welcome

Be ready on time and welcome guests at the front door.
Welcome with a smile and openness.
Guide guests to the best place to sit.
Parents of the family have the main role in welcoming.

2. Proper management of conversations

Starting the conversation: Usually the elders of the groom's family start the conversation. Listen with patience and respect.
Introduction: Briefly introduce your family members.
Purpose of the conversation: The main focus should be on mutual recognition of families and general introduction of boys and girls. Avoid getting into too personal details or financial matters in the first meeting. It is necessary to observe this balance in courtship customs of the girl's family.
Talk rate: Let guests talk more. As the host, be more of a listener and ask general questions for better understanding. Soliloquy or asking too much from the girl's family is not appropriate.
Daughter and boy talk: After the initial conversation of the families, an opportunity should be provided for the boy and girl to talk to each other briefly in the presence of others (or in another room with the families' knowledge). This part of courtship etiquette of the girl's family should be managed.

3. Suitable and adequate catering

Do the reception calmly and at appropriate intervals so as not to hinder the conversation.
Usually tea is served first and then fruit and sweets.
The lady's daughter can help in serving (especially serving tea), which is a sign of respect and etiquette.

4. The role of Miss

's daughter

To appear in the assembly with a well-groomed, modest and modest appearance.
At first, be more of a listener and show your respect with a smile and look.
Speak calmly and concisely at the right time and in response to questions.
In a two-person conversation, raise your key questions for better understanding.

Don'ts on the proposal night: mistakes to avoid

To maintain respect and avoid misperceptions, avoid these behaviors separately. These cases are considered violations of customs of the girl's family.

Excessive or inappropriate questioning: Direct questions about financial matters (salary, assets), past relationships or very personal details are inappropriate in the first meeting.
False presentation: Don't try to make yourself or your life situation look better than it is. Honesty is the best policy.
Neglecting the groom's family: Don't give all your attention to the boy (future groom). Treat all members of his family with equal respect.
Hurry in making a decision or declaring a definite opinion: The first meeting is just for getting to know each other. Avoid giving a definite positive or negative answer on the same night. Announce that you need time to think and deliberate.
Complaining or badmouthing (even jokingly): Do not complain or complain about anyone, even the conditions of society. Create a positive and hopeful atmosphere.

Checklist of courtship etiquette of the girl's family

This table provides a summary of the most important dos and don'ts on the proposal night:

should Don'ts Warm and timely welcome ❌ Minor financial and personal questions ✅ Home decoration and simple reception ❌ luxury and pretense Active and respectful listening ❌ Soliloquy or extreme questioning Providing the opportunity for girls and boys to talk ❌ Announcing a definitive opinion in the same meeting Maintaining calmness and composure ❌ complaints and slander

After the ceremony: properly manage the continuation of the path

Courtesy of the girl's family is not limited to the night of the ceremony. How to manage the next steps is also very important:

Internal consultation: After the guests leave, family members (especially father, mother and daughter) should share their impressions and opinions with each other in a calm atmosphere.
Research: It is necessary and wise to do local research about the family and the son, if desired.
Declaration of the result: After consultation and investigation, the girl's family should inform the boy's family of the result (whether positive or negative) in a reasonable time and in a completely respectful tone. Even in the case of a negative answer, it is necessary to maintain respect and avoid giving insulting reasons. This part of courtship customs of the girl's family shows the cultural maturity of the family.

Conclusion: Authenticity and respect, the key to successful hosting

Following the courtship etiquette of the girl's family does not mean putting on a perfect show, but rather a smart combination of respecting traditions, understanding psychological considerations, and most importantly, maintaining the family's authenticity and integrity. The ultimate goal is to create a safe and transparent space for deep understanding to begin. By planning, coordinating and keeping calm, you can turn this important night into a good memory and a solid foundation for the future. Understanding these subtleties, which are rooted in the culture and psychology of relationships, can open the way for many paths in life.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What questions should we ask the groom in the first courtship meeting?

Questions should be general and for basic knowledge. You can ask about his education, career, future plans, hobbies and important values in his life. Avoid asking about financial details or past relationships at this stage. Focus on understanding his personality and general goals.

2. Is it necessary for all members of the girl's family to be present at the first courtship meeting?

No. The presence of father, mother and the girl herself is necessary. The presence of other members (such as sisters, brothers, grandparents) depends on the agreement and family culture, but it is better not to overcrowd the initial assembly in order to maintain the focus on the main acquaintance.

3. How should we respond if the boy's family asks inappropriate questions?

By remaining calm and respectful, you can indirectly avoid answering or state that these matters require more understanding and a more appropriate time. Decisiveness with politeness is the best solution.

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