What to do with a stubborn child?

July 18, 1404
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Almost all parents at some point in their child's life say things like "I don't want!", "I know!" Or even the anger and screams of stubborn child are faced. If you also feel that your child constantly opposes, is not willing to cooperate and does everything against your wishes, you have probably encountered a phenomenon called a stubborn child.

Stubborn children are not necessarily misbehaving or disobedient; Many of them have a strong mind, strong will and high independence. But when these features appear inappropriately, it can create great challenges at home.

In this article, we will check in simple and practical language that:

Stubbornness Stubborn child What exactly is it and what are its symptoms?

Why are some stubborn children more stubborn?

How can this feature be directed in a positive direction with the right behavior?

Come with us to learn effective and tested solutions to deal with stubborn children.

1: What does stubbornness in children mean?

Stubbornness in children is one of the common behaviors that many parents face. Stubborn child usually repeatedly and continuously opposes the wishes and orders of the parents. This stubborn behavior does not always mean disobedience or disrespect; Rather, it can be a sign of the need for independence and autonomy.

What are the signs of a stubborn child?

A stubborn child often responds by yelling, lashing out, or ignoring the parent's words. These children like to do things on their own, even if they are not yet fully capable of doing it. A child's stubbornness makes parents feel that they have no control over their child's behavior.

Difference between stubbornness and strong will or independent character

Every stubborn child is different from a child who is just strong-willed. A strong-willed child may resist some demands, but is ready to accept the parents' opinion. But a stubborn child behaves repeatedly and without flexibility and is usually not willing to compromise.

2: Causes of stubbornness in children

Stubbornness of children has many reasons and is usually rooted in personality and environmental characteristics. When you encounter a stubborn child, knowing these reasons will help you better understand his behavior and find appropriate solutions.

Why does the child become stubborn?

A stubborn child may be stubborn for the following reasons:

Need for independence: Many growing children play pretend to prove themselves.
Getting attention: A stubborn child may get the attention of the parents with opposition.
Feeling ignored: A child who feels that his opinion is not heard, may behave in a stubborn manner.
Imitation: A stubborn child may imitate the stubborn behavior of family members or friends.

Stubbornness at different ages

At the age of 2 to 4, most children become stubborn as they discover their independence.
At the ages of 5 to 7, the stubborn child resists restrictions.
Stubborn children 8 years and older may be under academic or social pressures that cause stubbornness.

3. Characteristics of a stubborn child

Knowing exactly the characteristics of a stubborn child helps parents to better understand and manage the behavior of these children. These children have special traits that can be clearly seen in their daily behavior.

Negative characteristics of a stubborn child

Stubborn child usually resists parents' orders and always likes to put his own opinion on the chair. These children are often unwilling to give up easily and may show aggressive or violent behavior when they feel insecure or under pressure. These behaviors make the relationship between parents and a stubborn child difficult and tense.

Positive and hidden characteristics of stubborn children

Although stubborn children sometimes seem challenging, in many cases, this stubbornness is a sign of strong will, self-confidence, and autonomy. A stubborn child usually has an independent personality that can become a successful and confident person in the future. These children are usually strong, purposeful and resistant to difficulties.

Is my child stubborn or just independent?

Recognizing the difference between a stubborn child and an independent child is very important. The independent child seeks to learn and grow and is flexible at the same time. But the stubborn child repeatedly and stubbornly opposes and does not accept change. Understanding this difference helps parents to better guide their child's behavior and avoid unnecessary tensions.

4. How will the personality of stubborn people be formed in the future?

Stubborn behavior of children can play an important role in the formation of their personality in adulthood. A child with stubborn behavior, if properly guided, may become a resilient, independent and strong-willed person.

The role of correct upbringing in the development of a stubborn child

Correct education can help a child's stubbornness become a strength. When parents listen to their child's needs and give him freedom of choice instead of punishing and repressing, the child learns how to express his will constructively. On the contrary, harsh and incorrect treatment may make a stubborn child become a stubborn and inflexible person.

Is stubbornness always a negative trait?

Stubbornness is not bad in itself and can be a sign of self-confidence and independence. Many successful people in life had stubborn traits in their childhood that turned into strengths with the right guidance. Therefore, it is important for parents to know how to manage this behavior in order to help the positive development of the child.

The influence of the family environment

The family environment and the behavior of the parents have a great influence on the child. A family that is open and accepting and allows the child to express their opinions can help reduce stubborn behavior and lead the child to healthy development. On the contrary, harsh and domineering interactions may intensify stubbornness.

5. Methods of dealing with a stubborn child

Appropriate handling of a stubborn child plays a key role in reducing tensions and improving family relationships. Parents who treat a stubborn child with awareness and patience can turn this feature into a strong point in the child's personality.

Verbal and behavioral solutions for parents

Active listening: When a stubborn child tries to express his opinion, listen carefully. This will make him feel valued and less stubborn.
Consistency in rules: Stubborn children need clear and consistent rules. Any instability in the rules may cause more confusion and resistance.
Limited choices: Give a stubborn child limited and controllable options. For example, instead of "You have to wear your clothes," say "Do you want to wear a red shirt or a blue shirt?" This method gives the child a sense of independence without leading to war.
Use positive reinforcement: Instead of focusing on punishment, praise the child's positive efforts. Encouraging good behavior helps reduce stubbornness.

How to manage stubbornness without yelling and punishment?

Keeping parents calm is the first and most important thing. Yelling or severe punishment usually aggravates stubbornness.
Talking to the child at eye level and slowly makes the child listen better and show less resistance.
When the child becomes stubborn, try to lead him to a positive activity or give a short time-out.

Mistakes we should not make

Forcing a child to do something by force usually increases stubbornness.
Ignoring the child's feelings or blaming him instead of understanding his needs will make the situation worse.
Comparing a stubborn child with others and humiliating him decreases self-confidence and increases resistance.

6. Common challenges and problems in raising a stubborn child

Raising a stubborn child is always accompanied by challenges, knowing them will help parents to show the best reactions and prevent the escalation of stubbornness.

Behavior that causes stubbornness to intensify

One of the biggest problems parents face when dealing with a stubborn child is using incorrect methods to control behavior. For example, yelling, threats, and severe punishment often make a child more resistant and stubborn. Also, the sudden and unstable reactions of the parents can confuse the child and make him insist more on putting his own opinion on the table.

Why don't some methods work against a stubborn child?

Some parents may think that they can control their child's stubbornness by applying force or using harsh punishment methods, but the reality is that these methods often have the opposite effect. Stubborn children usually resist coercion due to their need for independence and being seen. Therefore, if the parents cannot pay attention to the feelings and needs of the child, the stubborn behavior will intensify.

The role of effective communication in reducing stubbornness

Establishing effective and intimate communication between parents and children can reduce many problems related to stubbornness. When the child feels heard and his opinions are important to the parents, he becomes less stubborn and shows more willingness to cooperate.

7. Practical solutions in special situations of a stubborn child

Dealing with a stubborn child in certain situations such as eating, going to school or sleeping, requires special methods and appropriate to the situation. In this section, we examine some common situations and provide practical solutions.

How to encourage a stubborn child to eat?

Eating is one of the biggest challenges of parents with stubborn children. To manage this issue:

Selecting diverse and attractive foods: Involve the child in choosing food so that he has a sense of independence.
Encouraging without coercion: Instead of forcing and punishing, encourage the child by encouraging and praising his positive behavior.
Consistency in meal times: Set meals at specific times so that the child gets used to it.

How to encourage a stubborn child to go to school?

Many stubborn children resist going to school. To fix this problem:

Friendly conversation: Talk to the child about school and its activities and listen to his concerns.
Encouraging making friends: Help your child make friends at school so they will be more motivated to go.
Creating a specific routine: Creating a regular daily schedule helps the child get used to going to school.

How to deal with a stubborn child during sleep?

Difficulty sleeping is one of the common situations of sleepiness. To manage it:

Creating a calm environment: Make the bedroom attractive and calm for the child.
Specific timing: Have a regular bedtime and stick to it.
Bedtime routine: Doing relaxing activities such as reading a book or listening to soft music can help the child.

8. Education and upbringing of stubborn children

Education and upbringing of stubborn children requires patience, practice and the use of effective methods that help the child gradually control his stubborn behavior and learn better social and communication skills.

Training to control anger and emotions

A stubborn child usually has difficulty expressing his feelings and may express his anger or frustration in the form of stubbornness. Teaching anger management skills, such as taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or expressing feelings verbally, will help the child show better behaviors.

Using games and indirect learning

One of the effective ways to teach stubborn children is to use group games and fun activities. These methods make the child learn social skills and cooperation without pressure and coercion and reduce stubbornness.

Strengthening problem solving skills

Stubborn child should learn to use logical and peaceful ways to achieve his wishes. Teaching problem-solving skills, such as finding alternative solutions and negotiating, will help the child to communicate better with others and be less stubborn.

The importance of praise and encouragement

Encouraging positive behaviors and praising the child for every success, even the smallest ones, plays an important role in reducing stubbornness. When the child sees that his efforts are seen and accepted, he will be more motivated to cooperate.

9. How to punish a stubborn child?

Punishment against a child's stubbornness should be such that it corrects the behavior and does not damage the character or the relationship between parent and child. Below are some important points for effective and correct punishment.

Positive and constructive punishment

Use positive punishment methods instead of physical or humiliating punishments. For example, if a child does something that causes stubbornness or inappropriate behavior, instead of blaming him, explain to him the consequences of this behavior and what you expect from him.

Using Time-Out

One of the effective ways to control stubbornness is to use short breaks. When the child shows stubborn behavior, take him to a quiet and designated place so that he can calm down and have a chance to think. This method helps the child to control his excitement.

Limit Privileges

You can temporarily limit some of the child's privileges or entertainment so that he understands that stubborn behavior has consequences. Of course, these restrictions should be reasonable and appropriate to the child's behavior and be removed quickly when the child shows better behavior.

Avoid severe physical and verbal punishment

Harsh punishments, such as hitting or insulting a child, cause emotional damage and often increase stubbornness. It is better to always treat the child with love and respect, even when punishing.

The stubborn child and its relationship with speech therapy and rehabilitation

Stubborn child may experience resistant behaviors and frequent objections due to various reasons such as language, communication, sensory or emotional problems, which require specialized investigation and intervention. In this context, rehabilitation services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, and behavior therapy can play an effective role in reducing stubborn behaviors and improving the child's interaction with the surrounding environment. Speech therapy helps the child express his needs and feelings better and use more positive ways to communicate. Besides that, occupational therapy and behavioral therapy are also effective by strengthening the child's emotional, sensory and behavioral regulation skills.

Delara Rehabilitation Clinic with the help of a team specialized in speech therapy, occupational therapy, and parent counseling, offers comprehensive services to evaluate and treat stubborn children so that the child and family can go through the path of growth and education with more peace and confidence.

Summary

Stubbornness in children is a natural and common behavior that shows the child's need for independence and autonomy. Knowing the characteristics and reasons of stubbornness helps parents to treat their child with more patience and understanding. Correct handling methods such as active listening, consistency in rules, positive encouragement and effective communication can help reduce stubbornness and prevent this behavior from becoming a bigger problem. Also, proper parenting and teaching emotional control and problem solving skills will help the stubborn child to become an independent, determined and successful person. Remember that a loving approach without harsh punishments is the best way to manage a child's stubbornness.

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