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Post-marriage counseling: A second chance for a healthy romantic relationship
مقاله تخصصی

Post-marriage counseling: A second chance for a healthy romantic relationship

2 months ago
688 بازدید
Dr. Masoume Falahian

Dr. Masoume Falahian

Tehran

Psychologist and consultant

Marriage is like cultivating a beautiful garden. In the beginning, everything is full of passion, excitement and beauty; But over time, this garden needs constant care, tending, weeding and watering to stay flourishing. After getting past the initial thrills, many couples find that routine, life stresses, unresolved misunderstandings, and inappropriate communication patterns (like weed) are suffocating the initial love and intimacy.

In such a situation, many mistakenly think that it is the end of the road. But referring to post-marriage counseling, exactly the opposite, will make your current relationship stronger; In fact, post-marital counseling means that you still have faith in your relationship garden and believe that your marriage is worth fighting for and caring for. Post-marriage counseling or couples therapy is a specialized process that helps you learn the tools to repair, strengthen, and rekindle your relationship with the help of a professional. This article is your guide to recognize this valuable opportunity.

All About Marriage Counseling: From Cost to Most Essential Tests

Why do romantic relationships erode over time?

No relationship remains perfect and perfect over time. Understanding the natural causes of relationship erosion is the first step to preventing it and makes clear the importance of post-marital counseling. These natural reasons are:

Infographic of reasons for relationship erosion

Relationship danger bell: when should we think about counseling after marriage?

Reference to post-marital counseling should not be postponed until the knife has reached the bone. The sooner you apply for help, the better your chances of success. The following are red flags that indicate it's time to seek the help of a professional:

  • When you feel more like two roommates than a couple in love.

  • When a certain fight is repeated over and over without any result.

  • When you no longer talk to each other to solve your problems and take refuge in silence (emotional divorce).

  • When emotional and physical intimacy is severely reduced or lost.

  • After a major crisis such as betrayal, serious illness or financial bankruptcy.

  • When the thought of divorce has become a constant mental possibility for one or both of you.

A full course of counseling after marriage can prevent many of these crises from happening.

Goals of couples therapy after marriage

Postmarital counseling is a purposeful process that seeks to achieve tangible results in the relationship. The main goals of this process are:

A key goal in counseling Techniques and approaches The result for your relationship Breaking destructive communication patterns Identifying negative cycles (such as the blame-withdrawal pattern), teaching active listening techniques and nonviolent communication (NVC) You learn to fight the problem as a team instead of attacking each other. Your conversations will be constructive and empathetic. Rebuilding trust and intimacy Creating a space for expressing vulnerabilities, trust building exercises, teaching methods to increase emotional and physical intimacy. The emotional walls between you will collapse and you will again experience the feeling of closeness, security and love next to each other. This is the main purpose of post marriage counseling. Teaching conflict resolution skills Teaching the step-by-step process of problem solving, negotiation techniques and reaching win-win solutions Disagreements no longer turn into wars of attrition, but become an opportunity for deeper understanding and relationship growth. Creating vision and common goals Helping couples talk about long-term dreams, values, and goals and create a shared "we." Your relationship regains direction and meaning, and you as partners are motivated to build an exciting future together.

What happens in counseling sessions after marriage?

Walking into the consultation room can be stressful, but knowing the process can put you at ease:

First step: Assessing the relationship

In the initial sessions, the counselor listens to the story of your relationship from the perspective of both people. He is not looking to blame, but is evaluating your strengths, weaknesses, and communication patterns.

Second step: identifying malicious communication patterns

A skilled couples therapist will help you see your destructive interaction patterns. For example, "The more I come forward to solve the problem (pursuer), the more you stay silent and distance yourself (withdrawal)". Seeing this pattern is the first step to changing it. The role of an expert in counseling after marriage is to identify these cycles.

The third step: creating and practicing healthy communication patterns

At this stage, you practice new and healthy ways of talking and responding to each other with guidance and in the safe atmosphere of the meeting. At the Clear Path Center, the focus is on these practical exercises so that couples leave the session with real, practical tools. An effective consultation is full of these exercises.

Choosing the right couple therapist

Success in the counseling process after marriage depends a lot on choosing a suitable specialist. Look for a consultant who:

  • Specifically trained and experienced in couples therapy (approaches such as Gutman and EFT).

  • Both of you feel comfortable, secure and understood next to him.

  • Be completely neutral and do not favor one of the parties in the relationship.

In this regard, referring to a specialized center that has a comprehensive and scientific approach to relationships will make it easier to choose the right consultant. The working philosophy of "Rah Roshan" is a deep understanding of relationship dynamics and couple empowerment. The therapeutic approach of this collection goes beyond resolving surface conflicts and focuses on rebuilding emotional bonds and teaching skills that will help you overcome the current crisis and build a more resilient and intimate relationship for the future.

Finally, remember that love is not just a feeling, but a set of skills that must be learned. Marriage counseling is a classroom for learning these valuable skills. Investing in your relationship is the most valuable decision you can make for your future together. This is another chance to build the relationship you both deserve.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What should I do if my wife is not willing to participate in counseling after marriage?

First, try to attend a counseling session individually. You will learn how to communicate with your spouse in a more effective way. By changing your behavior, the whole dynamic of the relationship may change and your partner will be encouraged to participate in the meetings.

2. Does going to counseling mean that we are on the verge of divorce?

No, exactly the opposite. Seeking post-marital counseling shows that you value your relationship and are willing to work to improve it. This process often prevents many divorces and serves as a powerful preventive tool.

3. How long does it take to see the results of post-marriage counseling?

It depends on the complexity of the problems and the level of your commitment. Some couples feel an improvement in their communication after a few sessions. A standard course of treatment is usually between 12 and 20 sessions, but the goal is to create lasting changes, not a quick, temporary fix.

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