Intimate relationships

How communication helps a partner feel better when they are frustrated and upset.

Research shows that people who are very satisfied with their relationships usually use three key strategies. They help their partner feel better.

The first strategy of valuing - tell your partner that he is valuable and special to you.

The second humor strategy – try to share in your partner's happiness.

Third strategy, listening – listening to your partner when he shares his feelings.

Use more expression, humor and listeningfor a good communication and communication satisfaction.

Many people wish to have a satisfying and meaningful relationship with a loving partner. But what distinguishes people who are satisfied and happy with the relationship from those who are disappointed?

New research by Sarah Walker's team at the University of Sydney on how people respond to their partner's emotions shows what differentiates people who are satisfied and unhappy in their relationship. Making your partner feel valued, really listening to them, and using humor to help them feel better were the most important ways to distinguish people with relationship satisfaction from those with less relationship satisfaction.

This study was published in the journal Current Psychology, Walker (Walker) asked 277 people to rate their level of satisfaction with their current relationship and used eight different strategies to regulate their partner's emotions.

Communication satisfaction means that your union with your partner meets your expectations and needs and you enjoy the relationship. People who are very satisfied with their relationship feel love for their partner and believe that their relationship is better than others. People with low levels of relationship satisfaction see problems in their relationship and may wish they had never been in a relationship.

If your partner is feeling upset, frustrated, or anxious, there are a variety of strategies to help them resolve their issues. to reduce his worries. Walker's research showed that eight techniques can be used to reduce the partner's negative emotions or increase his positive emotions, which are:

Eight emotion regulation strategies :

Appreciate. Tell your partner how precious and special he is to you.
Humor. Try to make your wife laugh. For example, you can share a joke, tell a funny story.
Receptive listening. Encourage your partner to share his feelings by talking about what happened recently or how you feel.
Reframing. Encourage your partner to change their thoughts or interpretation of the situation that is causing them to feel bad.
Direct action. Try to reduce your partner's negative feelings by directly changing something in your environment. For example, if he is bothered by loud and annoying radio or TV, turn off the radio.
Distraction. Try to reduce the negative feelings by turning your attention away from annoying situations or topics that cause him negative feelings.
Expression suppression. Encourage your partner not to express his feelings through facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language.
Downward social comparisonTrying to change how your partner feels about a bad situation by changing the frame that makes the situation worse.

According to Walker, these solutions play a role in emotional interactions. Engage with his feelings and pay attention to his thoughts and feelings. The two strategies that require the most participation are valuing and receptive listening, which Walker calls communication-focused strategies because they focus on the relationship between the person and their partner.

Resources

Walker, S. A., Pinkus, R. T., Olderbak, S., & MacCann, C. (2023). People with higher relationship satisfaction use more humor, valuing, and receptive listening to regulate their partners' emotions. Current Psychology, 1-9.